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 About Me
When I'm not searching for the cure for pediatric AIDS, I'm feeding the hungry and sheltering the homeless. In between good deeds, I sometimes find the time to do a little blogging. |
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Sunday, July 23, 2006
I was driving the other day (probably on the way to some charity gala to raise money for AIDS awareness, or to do some volunteer work for the local food bank, you know me) when I found myself driving behind the Aggressive Plumbing van.
Aggressive Plumbing? I'd never heard of such a thing. I tried to picture what aggressive plumbers might be like. First, I imagined the phone call:
I envision the van screeching to a stop in front of the house nine minutes later, after laying a quarter-mile strip of skid marks down my street as it brakes from 75  mph to zero. The doo rs fling open and 3 burly, brooding guys in black berets leap out like Army commandos, brandishing wrenches and screaming "Out of our way!" to no one in particular as they trample up my walk and break down my door, not bothering to knock. My frightened son wails in panic as the men storm from kitchen to bathrooms, heedlessly tromping on toys and knocking over lamps as they yell things to one another like, "Mike, get me a plunger and a gasket, stat!"No offense to the undoubtedly fine employees of Aggressive Plumbing, but I think I'll stick with my nice, friendly plumber with his sagging pants and good ol' boy demeanor. In the meantime, keep an eye out for other companies with names that smack of overzealous employees and volatile behavior, like this short list I dreamed up: Confrontational Drywallers Argumentative Dentistry Disagreeable Trucking Passive-Aggressive Jewelry Repair Antagonistic Auto Salvage Violent Landscaping Belligerent Party Supply Shop Quarrelsome Pharmaceuticals Cantankerous Tailor & Shoe Repair Hateful Health Foods Bitter Savings & Loan Malevolent Carpet Cleaning Sullen Salon & Day Spa Spiteful Restaurant Supply Cynical Dry Cleaners Impatient Ice Cream Shop Irate Antiques Menacing Dermatology Resentful Real Estate And if you happen to find yourself on the highway behind the Aggressive Plumbing van, I suggest you slow down and switch lanes. If he thinks you're tailgating him, he's likely to run you off the road and bludgeon you with a pipe. Labels: I'm sane--the world is crazy Posted by karla @ 12:25 AM
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Narcissistic Nail Technicians?
Bipolar Bricklayers?
Neurotic Carpet Layers?
:0)
Glad you came - thought I'd return the favor. Great layout! I'll come back more often...
You know, to get the job they had to have the top of their ass crack tatooed with "Kiss It!" or "If you're reading this, F**k You!" It somehow seems fitting.
I don't have it too often, but when I do, it is succulent and very satisfying.
I'm just saying.
1) "We keep you in hot water"
2) "We'll give your pipes fits"
3) "Call us BEFORE the shit hits the fan"
4) "We work so fast, OUR butt crack is more of a vortex"
Consider this as evidence of my marketing "ineptitude".
Those are the most realistic bunny slippers I have ever seen, BTW.
I think I've actually been a Violent Gardener. It involved a lot of weeds and a lot of energy.
Makes your wonder NINdeed.
As for those plumber blokes, I'm thinking you should call them when you need a wall busted down during a remo job NINstead.
Cheers KB
Especially since we had a plumbing disaster last night -- the tragic tale is now recanted on my blog.
But the funny part is that when I read "Aggressive Plumbing" I thought, "Oh, if only I lived in Texas -- we need a VERY aggressive plumber!" :)
after reading that, it might actually be a funny gimmick for them to try. Some might get a kick outta it.
thats all....carry on
Doesn't leave much to the imagination.
Great blog - I love the way you write.
: Mon Feb 02, 04:34:00 PM