Friday, January 02, 2009

Manipulating children since 2002

My daughter Chase is 17 months old, which is an age I personally love, because you can get kids that age to answer questions they don't fully understand. That's 90 percent of why I wanted children in the first place.

Case in point: Several nights ago I realized that Chase has become such a daddy's girl that, when given the choice of "mommy" or "daddy" in any given situation, she will choose daddy. At first my feelings were a little hurt, but soon enough I found a bright side. Chase, her brother Jake, my husband Brian and I were hanging out at the house, and it was almost time for the kids to go to bed.

Me: Chase, who do you want to read you a bedtime story tonight, mommy or daddy?
Chase: Da-dee!
(Brian beams, clearly happy to be the favorite.)

Me: Chase, who do love more, mommy or daddy?
Chase: Da-dee!
(Brian sits there, looking smug.)

Me: If one of your parents were to die in a fire, would you rather it be mommy or daddy?
Chase: Da-dee!
(Brian looks as if he's about to object, but I quickly fire off another question.)

Me: Who would you rather see get intestinal cancer, mommy or daddy?
Chase: Da-dee!

Me: In the event of a divorce, who would you rather see only one weekend a month and two weeks during the summers, mommy or daddy?
Chase: Da-dee!

Me: If the judge called you to the stand and asked you to tell him who had given you that bruise on your arm, would you tell him "mommy" or "daddy?"
Chase: Da-dee!

I find this line of questioning to be so entertaining that I spend inordinate chunks of my day dreaming up new questions to ask her that would result in a humorous payoff in the event of the inevitable answer "daddy." If you can think of any to add to my list, please submit now. Hurry, she's about to wake up from her nap and I want to be ready.