Comments on karlababble: How can I make Jake's birthday party all about me?...

Update your fucking blog, goddammit.

2007-02-19T19:03:00.000-06:00

Update your fucking blog, goddammit.

Is there no happy middle ground, like where you ge...

2007-02-19T18:47:00.000-06:00

Is there no happy middle ground, like where you get into town painting now and then, just to keep your hand in?

You can do the Mary Kay thing, the Girl Scout cook...

2007-02-19T02:36:00.000-06:00

You can do the Mary Kay thing, the Girl Scout cookies, even the charity work. But stay the hell away from PTA meetings. Things are never that bad. Trust me on that one.

OMG-Not only have you made Jake's birthday party a...

2007-02-18T21:20:00.000-06:00

OMG-Not only have you made Jake's birthday party all about YOU [and its a good thing you did] because if not, it would all be about Jake-and the question is, could you handle that?

Whew! Someone else brought up the gingerbread hou...

2007-02-15T22:16:00.000-06:00

Whew! Someone else brought up the gingerbread house!

Then all I can say "A belated Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours.

Dyckerson: I had you on the guest list, but scrat...

2007-02-15T21:11:00.000-06:00

Dyckerson: I had you on the guest list, but scratched your name off when I got that report from the Bureau of Sex Offenders.

Flounder: Just one--don't invite Dyckerson. He'll be there either way--look for the white van parked across the street. But you'll come off better to the investigating officers if you can at least say you didn't invite him there.

tfg: Sell crack to toddlers? Jesus Christ--there really is something wrong with you, isn't there? I would NEVER sell crack to toddlers. That would be stupid. Toddlers don't have any money--you have to look for kids age 8 and up, who have started receiving an allowance. No wonder you live in a run-down trailer--no understanding of simple economics.

Beth: I did NOT marry Dyckerson. I can't get past his boyfriend long enough to even hold his hand.

Chebbles' Mama: I knew someone was going to bring up that fucking gingerbread house.

No dude, I've seen/been traumatized by your ginger...

2007-02-15T20:51:00.000-06:00

No dude, I've seen/been traumatized by your gingerbread house. You really have nothing to worry about, re: June Cleaver.

Hi! I just saw over at dyckerson's that you guys ...

2007-02-15T15:54:00.000-06:00

Hi! I just saw over at dyckerson's that you guys are engaged, so I wanted to say congrats! you really picked a winner in that one! ;)

Better June Cleaver than Carol Brady, right? The h...

2007-02-15T15:24:00.000-06:00

Better June Cleaver than Carol Brady, right? The hair was BAD.

uhhhh...whatever dude...just because no one got th...

2007-02-15T10:38:00.000-06:00

uhhhh...whatever dude...just because no one got the clap at your son's birthday party don't make you better than me.

And for the record, the price tag was still on so that you all would know that I earns my money and I spends it like a Hilton.

Since you are now respectable, perhaps you could c...

2007-02-15T10:15:00.000-06:00

Since you are now respectable, perhaps you could contact the White House and let them know that change CAN happen. Come on use your powers for good.

Wait... you had a dead hooker at your Christmas pa...

2007-02-14T17:13:00.000-06:00

Wait... you had a dead hooker at your Christmas party too??? Crazy!

I kid, I kid! (Or do I?)

Anyway, it sounds like a rousing success, and now you have a full year to prepare for the next one!

You're still going to sell crack to toddlers, thou...

2007-02-14T14:28:00.000-06:00

You're still going to sell crack to toddlers, though, right?

Your guests may leave the house with no physical d...

2007-02-14T12:02:00.000-06:00

Your guests may leave the house with no physical damage to their bodies, but expect the mental trauma they've experienced will take years of therapy. It's their own fault though. You'd think after all the other parties they'd been warned or something.

Being found dead in a pool of someone else's vomit...

2007-02-14T11:54:00.000-06:00

Being found dead in a pool of someone else's vomit is top five on my list of ways I want it all to end.

It's right up there with the diet pill induced heart attack and the smoking while over the age of 35 and on birth control stroke.

Oh, and falling victim to the four-hour Viagra erection...that one's at the top of my list. Of course.

Motherhood...who knew...Just wait until you totall...

2007-02-13T22:39:00.000-06:00

Motherhood...who knew...

Just wait until you totally loose your identity when you are the mother of a school aged child....

The PTA really is a cult...

"you're still on your same old path of being found...

2007-02-13T21:24:00.000-06:00

"you're still on your same old path of being found dead in a pool of someone else's vomit"

Oh God.

My wife wants to start planning our Jake's first b...

2007-02-13T20:46:00.000-06:00

My wife wants to start planning our Jake's first birthday party in March. Any pointers?

Thanks for your compliment and your comment! It m...

2007-02-13T18:39:00.000-06:00

Thanks for your compliment and your comment! It means a lot! And congrats on a successful party!!

Why the hell wasn't I invited to this shindig?? I...

2007-02-13T18:00:00.000-06:00

Why the hell wasn't I invited to this shindig?? I could've entertained the kids with balloon animals...which I make with my used prophylactics.

(BTW, I liked you better when you were a skanky ho.)

Oh No, she's becoming....SUPER MOMMY!!!Protector o...

2007-02-13T14:30:00.000-06:00

Oh No, she's becoming....SUPER MOMMY!!!

Protector of the blankey ;)

Oh, the play date. I remember my first like it wa...

2007-02-13T11:11:00.000-06:00

Oh, the play date. I remember my first like it was yesterday. All those screaming kids, and me walking around pointing at my son, saying, "I'm with him."

So much shame. So much shame.

I'm more like Courtney Love dressed up like June C...

2007-02-13T09:52:00.000-06:00

I'm more like Courtney Love dressed up like June Cleaver. Despite my best efforts I'll never change.

I think I remember hearing about that baby shower ...

2007-02-13T09:02:00.000-06:00

I think I remember hearing about that baby shower on the news. It reminded me of my cousin's bat mitzvah. Ah, good times.

My great uncle worked on the set of Leave It To Be...

2007-02-13T08:52:00.000-06:00

My great uncle worked on the set of Leave It To Beaver. He says Barbara Billingsly was a ritualistic cannibal who used to lure midget actors into her trailer with promises of non-elf-related work.

So, yeah, you're a little more June Cleaver.