Comments on karlababble: Ask The Felon

Depending on the cop (I've had this one go both wa...

2007-03-15T08:32:00.000-05:00

Depending on the cop (I've had this one go both ways),the best excuse is the unspoken or self explanatory one. Like when the passenger lifts her head from your lap and wipes her mouth with a shocked look back at the cop and then frantically puts on her seat belt and starts fixing her hair. If you fumble with "something" in your lap for a second or two as the cop approaches your window and have nothing exposed by the time he gets there, if you just appologize and say that you did not realize you were speeding until you saw him, he'll let you off. The downside is when it is a Chick cop on a motorcycle. Yes, you get two tickets. One for speeding, and one for reckless endangerment. The reckless you can get dropped in court just by telling the judge what happened.

Perhaps you should write a book like The Secret

2007-03-12T11:01:00.000-05:00

Perhaps you should write a book like The Secret

I'll print this out and tape it to my dashboard fo...

2007-03-11T23:24:00.000-05:00

I'll print this out and tape it to my dashboard for next time I'm pulled over. My usual excuses just aren't working anymore.
Stacie

or have a threesome with a couple of jurors. It wo...

2007-03-11T20:41:00.000-05:00

or have a threesome with a couple of jurors.

It works wonders for getting you off, or should I say getting a verdict of not guilty.

Only problem is that my wife doesn't like the competition. Than again she prefers to have me around the house than the big house.

Speaking from experience, when the cop walks up yo...

2007-03-11T15:41:00.000-05:00

Speaking from experience, when the cop walks up your window and you notice his name badge reads "Fife," do NOT, as your first words, ask "hey, your name wouldn't by any chance be Barney, would it?"

This will make the officer fake a laugh that says "yeah, I've never heard that one before" before he writes you up for everything but causing the black plague.

Just fyi-
Bob Jennifer, aka Bobifer.

This is why I make friends with a few of my local ...

2007-03-11T10:41:00.000-05:00

This is why I make friends with a few of my local police officers. Once you've served them you can count on being protected.

Maybe next time you can give us your tried and tru...

2007-03-11T10:13:00.000-05:00

Maybe next time you can give us your tried and true technique for hiding heroin laden balloons.

It seems to me that getting pulled over with a coo...

2007-03-10T18:56:00.000-06:00

It seems to me that getting pulled over with a cooler of human kidneys would be the best excuse for speeding ever. "Officer, I was taking these kidneys to the hospital for transplantation."

Hell, you might even get him to lead the way with the lights on and stuff.

From now on, I'm going to drive with kidneys riding shotgun.

Yes, you are a genius! Loved the entry, love your...

2007-03-10T18:06:00.000-06:00

Yes, you are a genius! Loved the entry, love your blog and your writing. I've been reading your archives and you're one FUNNY woman! Will be back often!

You forgot if your female and have cleavage, use i...

2007-03-10T14:20:00.000-06:00

You forgot if your female and have cleavage, use it.

Cheers

You are, indeed, a genius, Karla.

2007-03-09T18:43:00.000-06:00

You are, indeed, a genius, Karla.

You forgot one.Don't tell a police officer that in...

2007-03-09T12:44:00.000-06:00

You forgot one.

Don't tell a police officer that instead of setting a speed trap to catch speeders he should be out catching real criminals instead.

I did this once...In so many words...I got a ticket.

Buy a car with a big trunk, buy a bunch of donkey ...

2007-03-09T10:35:00.000-06:00

Buy a car with a big trunk, buy a bunch of donkey tranquilezer, and hope your draw is quicker than the cop's is.

It isn't a surprise that you have been pulled over...

2007-03-09T10:13:00.000-06:00

It isn't a surprise that you have been pulled over 185 times. The cops have a picture of you, your car, and your license plate. There is a caption underneath it saying "If you are looking for a good time, pull this person over"

Great advice Karla, On behalf of all the cops out ...

2007-03-09T09:47:00.000-06:00

Great advice Karla, On behalf of all the cops out there we appreciate you taking a bite outta crime.
You know that I'll be lmao the next time I pull over some chick who does the whole unbutton the top button thingy in order to try to beat the ticket.

When I get pulled over for speeding, I can usually...

2007-03-08T22:33:00.000-06:00

When I get pulled over for speeding, I can usually get out of it by creating a diversion. For example, I'll shoot a small child or old lady. Then the cop will instinctively run to the victim's aid, leaving me a chance to escape.

BTW, I'm coming down there in my scoutmaster's uniform and I expect to be serviced!

where the hell do you live that it is modern enoug...

2007-03-08T20:56:00.000-06:00

where the hell do you live that it is modern enough to have the police department have flashing lights and uniforms? jeezz in nebraska they still depend on the horse, and of course, their little tin star.

I've only been pulled over one time in my life and...

2007-03-08T20:45:00.000-06:00

I've only been pulled over one time in my life and I cracked under pressure confessing to things I didn't even do when asked if I knew why he stopped me. I sang like a canary. Then cried like a baby. Needless to say I got out of that ticket.

I was much younger then...but, if it should happen again? I'll be naked and pinching my nipples by the time he taps on my window.

Thanks for the advice!