My daughter Chase is 17 months old, which is an age I personally love, because you can get kids that age to answer questions they don't fully understand. That's 90 percent of why I wanted children in the first place.
Case in point: Several nights ago I realized that Chase has become such a daddy's girl that, when given the choice of "mommy" or "daddy" in any given situation, she will choose daddy. At first my feelings were a little hurt, but soon enough I found a bright side. Chase, her brother Jake, my husband Brian and I were hanging out at the house, and it was almost time for the kids to go to bed.
Me: Chase, who do you want to read you a bedtime story tonight, mommy or daddy?
(Brian beams, clearly happy to be the favorite.)
Me: Chase, who do love more, mommy or daddy?
(Brian sits there, looking smug.)
Me: If one of your parents were to die in a fire, would you rather it be mommy or daddy?
(Brian looks as if he's about to object, but I quickly fire off another question.)
Me: Who would you rather see get intestinal cancer, mommy or daddy?
Me: In the event of a divorce, who would you rather see only one weekend a month and two weeks during the summers, mommy or daddy?
Me: If the judge called you to the stand and asked you to tell him who had given you that bruise on your arm, would you tell him "mommy" or "daddy?"
I find this line of questioning to be so entertaining that I spend inordinate chunks of my day dreaming up new questions to ask her that would result in a humorous payoff in the event of the inevitable answer "daddy." If you can think of any to add to my list, please submit now. Hurry, she's about to wake up from her nap and I want to be ready.
Being we have just had a daughter 3 months ago, this is perfect planning for me on the wife.
As far as questions, ask her "When you need money, who you going to ask for it?"
YOU PREGNANT BABBLER!!!
What is daddy doing with his hand up her dress??!
That is fantastic! The Chebs is now 3.25 and that's the age where a girl REALIZES how much you've been screwing with her head and starts serious payback. I can see the gears in her head whirling "OK, what answer does Mama *want* me to give in this situation, and what answer would potentially fuck up our whole day? OK, option DEUCE."
But on the bright side, she's potty trained.
Who would you like to change your diaper?
Who's lap would you like to sit in while you drink this huge apple juice I just made you? (If juice is a direct laxative, like it was with mine at that age.)
You are still the funniest thing going ...
Who gave Mommie that black eye?
Dyckerson does have a point, there.
Karla: Who do you want to feed you too much fiber so you have a sickly brown green case of the runs?
Karla: If you were going to have someone hold you over their mouth and let you poop directly into it, who would you want it to be?
Karla: When you develop a complex who you are and how badly you feel about yourself, who are you going to hate and curse the name of rather than take responsibility for your own demons?
Karla: Who are you going to commit to the crazy house when they get old?
I used to do this! My questions were always "Who's going to buy you your first Ferrari?" "Who's going to threaten your date on Prom night?" "Who has the smelliest feet?" "Who ate the last cookie?" "Who said no dessert unless you finished your dinner?""Who left the toilet seat up?"
Eventually, Daddy got blamed for everything and Mommy is now, always the Shining One. Passive aggressiveness can be so amusing. My ultimate favourite is "Who has all the money?" which is great around birthdays and X-mas.
Ooh! Ooh! Ask her what's the name of the mailman!
LOL! I havent commented before, but read from time. I have to comment now b/c I used to do this all the time!! Q's like.
"Who's uglier, mommy or daddy?"
"Who's dumber, M or D?"
And the list goes on. Glad to know I'm not the only one.
Ah, I miss those days. Now that my boys are 6 & 7 it is nearly impossible to get them to implicate their mother in wrong doing!
You are hilarious. I miss your posts. They are definitely worth the wait though. ;)
Hey Karla! Sorry I've been away for awhile, but I have to tell you that reading about this game makes me want to walk...no, RUN...down to the bus station and let the first dude I see get me pregnant! I want a lil' fun machine, too, if you get to do stuff like this. Wow. Thank you; truly, I cannot thank you enough for inspiring me in my journey towards "greatness."
haha this is funny
hahaha that is an awesome take on things! I am a void of creativity so I can't think of any interesting questions.
Brilliant! I might still be able to get away with this on the 2.5 yr old.
The Queen sent me over. I'm so glad, you are a riot!
Please post...we miss you!
You still crack me up, Karla.
Adore that photo.
Ya know, Wombat's had time to change his underwear -- twice! -- since you last posted.
girl. are you still there? cuz you gotta know i can't live without you :)
ps my word verification is: stadist
that's someone who takes a lot of shit, likes it, and stays there waiting for more :)
i now know that you and that dyck are one and the same person. you both stopped at the same time. ya prolly both lost yer jobs and fell into depression. cheer up. it's life and life only.
Oh, Nick Cage, that was just mean and hurtful and uncalled for. Ouchie.
post post post post...POST.
Or show us a picture of your boobies, that would sort of make up for the absence. :)
It's shameful, isn't it? So very, very lazy. Also, I've had both hands amputated after a horrific fondue accident, so it's impossible to type.
(My home health care worker is typing this for me now.)
Was it something I said?
Wow. I sure missed your posts when I forgot that I had a blog and that I read other people's blogs for the past 2 years. Huh. Your last post was made on the day I pushed a tiny human from my womb.
I have posted 2, count them, TWO posts. Ritmeyer 2, Karla 0. They suck...but I did it.
Tomorrow's post, should I do one, will be cursing myself for being up this late when I know I will have to deal with my teething 8 month old who hates naps and diaper changes and enjoys pulling my hair out in tiny baby fist chunks during said diaper changes.
I wish you were still writing. You used to crack my shit up. I get that you work, and have kids, and a marriage, but quit being so selfish and think of those of us who actually need you.
You miss me don't you baby?
I love you all, I really do. Well, most of you. And I would totally blog again if Facebook hadn't come along to steal every spare second of my goof-off time.
Karla, you are the most hilarious writer ever. You need to update!!!
I'm just restarting my blogging life. You prob don't remember my old revolvinggirl one...anyway
Okay, it's been a year. I think that is an adequate amount of time for a break from blogging.
Karla's New Year's resolution: return to blogging :)
Wishing you and yours all the best in 2010.
Just found you today through the Queen. BLOG AGAIN, NOW
Aww, thanks, Ian. Come babysit my kids for me so I have some time to blog.
Who's allowed out of the kitchen?
Nablopomo is calling. Miss your randomness and some of your not so random stuff.
Whoa. There's a blast from the past. Hi there.
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