And no, I don't mean "for parasites," although I'm probably good at that, too.

As those of you who insist on peeping in my windows already know, my sister and niece were recently here for a visit. I was a most hospitable and gracious host, the likes of which would put Martha Stewart to shame. (I mean, more shame than her recent prison stint, even.)

First, there was the welcome banner I made for their arrival. How many of you put out welcome banners for your guests? Not many, I'd guess. Which is a shame, because it's such a nice gesture, and really lets your guests know how you feel about having them over.

(Candypants is my nickname for my sister, and Brandypants is my niece, whose real name is Brandy. It's one of those things on the incredibly long list of things that's probably only funny to me.)

In my guest bathroom, I went to the trouble of displaying a framed photo of my dear sister, taken at bathtime. Well, technically, it's a picture of my son's body with my sister's head, but still, it's a very charming photo, and I get bonus points for the fact that it's a one-of-a-kind piece of art.

And for my final decorating touch, I put another photo of my sister in a place where I could be sure it would be seen and enjoyed every day. Candypants doesn't think this is such a great picture of herself, but I figured that wouldn't be a problem since most of the time it would be to her back, anyway.

And yes, this is the kind of movie star treatment you can expect to receive when you stay at Chez Karlababble. Plus, I'll allow you to get up with my son every morning and feed him while I sleep in, which is really a treat for my guests. All I ask is that you don't all email me at once with your requests to stay at my place; regrettably, I can't house all of you at the same time. One or two guests at a time, please, and be sure to send a photo of yourself ahead of time so I can decorate accordingly.

(By the way, I've missed you!)

Labels: The Karlababble Household