Sunday, April 09, 2006

Not sure what to wear? Visit!

As you're no doubt aware, is an important tool for millions of people. It's your one-stop source for all kinds of information and advice, to include:

Gardening tips
Detailed stock analyses
Sizing chart for sport bras
Metric conversion table
Cooking tips
Flight arrival and departure times
Arabic fonts
Discounts on teeth whitening procedures
Apartment locator service
Custom-made orthopedic shoes
Tarot card readings
Lightning-fast tax returns
Plastic surgeon referrals
Expedited passports
Chinese-English translation
Filtered drinking water
Pre-marital counseling
Frozen embryo transfers
Autographed 8x10 glossies of Barry Manilow
Confidential STD testing
Rare/endangered fish
Flu vaccinations
Spiritual guidance
Sugar-free Jello
Black-market babies
...and so much more!

We here at Karlababble Industries pride ourselves on providing a wide range of goods/ services/ guidance/ information to our clients/ members/ inmates/ castaways/ offspring/ followers, and we're proud to announce our latest area of expertise: Fashion!

Recently I bought a shirt so attractive, so flattering, so stylish and so chic that I felt I had to share it with you.I know what you're thinking: "Never mind the shirt, check out that fabulous model!" Please; you're embarrassing me. I'm here to showcase the shirt, not myself. No wardrobe is complete without one of these gems.

Feel free to visit the design-your-own area of Jerkass Clothing, which is where this fine piece of couture came from. (Although it doesn't seem to work in Mozilla Firefox, which is so December 2005.) But don't get all hung up on that site--head back here afterward. After all, there's no information about black market babies or sugar-free Jello there.


CommonWombat said...

I read this as:

"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blabeddy blah...

An attention-starved Karla flaunting her boobs on the internet...

Blah blah blah..."

Keep this up, and I'll flaunt MY boobs on the internet. And you DO NOT want that.

CommonWombat said...

Okay, the shirt is funny.

karla said...

Oh God, no--I don't want any part of you flaunted on the internet. I'll remove this post (boobs and all) right now if you promise never to post another photo of yourself on that fecal-centric blog of yours.

But pics of Sally are still allowed.

Mrs. Ca said...

Love the shirt! The saying is great, and the pink is excellent.

StaceyG said...

I need to get me one of those to wear to the Yates trial. And I don't give a shit what you think.

Anonymous said...

The Black Market baby thing is just what I might expect from you....LOL

melissa said...

Thank goodness. I needed a resource for Chinese-English translation and an apartment locater service. My day just got THAT much easier...

dizzy von damn! said...

i am desperate to transfer my frozen embryos.

also for cooking tips.

(those things are probably unrelated, but i cannot guarantee.)

Jessica said...

Hah - mine is "Put us out of our Missouri"


Anonymous said...

You always crack me up!

Anonymous said...

I like the Missouri one, dude. I have one that says, "Alabama, where having a mullet IS keeping it real." Unfortunately, because we ran out of food stamps, I had to return the "Oregon, come for the wilderness, stay for the strip clubs" so we could buy cabbage or something. Damn the man. I have always envisioned a shirt that says on the front 'Virginia is for lovers' and on the back: 'West Virginia is for lovers...who are cousins!' Get it? 'cause they're all inbred. That's all my help for the day. (:

Anonymous said...

Great shirt! Very amusing.

If you're worried about people not returning after they visit a link on your site, you can add target="_blank" after the web address but before the last >. That just opens each link in a new window, so your blog is still there.

... Paige said...

Hey can we help it if the fast track death row, is faster then the local crime lab?

Kristen said...

That shirt is hilarious. And I am so impressed that you now offer private STD screenings. Thank goodness!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Man that is sexy, a shirt with boobs in it and a swell message. It don't get any better. Unless the boobs get bigger.

Lyvvie said...

Nice shirt!!

Where were you when I really needed advice on custom-made orthopedic shoes?!

Read my cards will you, love?

Bone said...

Love the shirt.

Love ringer T's.

As for the Alabama shirt, I haven't seen it. But I can attest, mullets are alive and thriving here.

Unknown said...

You do make me chuckle Karla. I love your blog x

Maja said...

I read black market babies and thought of black jelly babies, which are so yummy, I want one! But I can't have one, as I am in the middle of nowhere. Doh.

Nice t-shirt!

Ben said...

No shit, the NINbreeder gig is alive and kicking in your neck of the woods.

Fortunately your a bright spot.


P.S. Since nobody's had the balls to say it: "Nice Tits KB"

Officially Fabulous said...

Sometimes I really miss Dallas. People just aren't as interesting in VA as in TX!!! Although,the PRIDE factor is on PAR!
~ Fab : )

Ritmeyer said...

I've missed you so.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I wouldn't mind visiting the heart of Texas, if you know what I'm saying... But if you don't, what I'm saying is, I'd like to lick your boobies.

Lena said...

That site rocks hard. I'm off to create one that says "I Lap Up Karla's Babble". Try and stop me.

You forgot to add to your list "The latest in showtunes".

Lena said...

Also, Karla? The word verification makes me want to hang myself.

Anonymous said...

i would like to know if x felons can get apassport