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 About Me
When I'm not searching for the cure for pediatric AIDS, I'm feeding the hungry and sheltering the homeless. In between good deeds, I sometimes find the time to do a little blogging. |
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Sunday, June 04, 2006
Spoken by my attractive redneck friend Kenny in Missouri:
Don't leave me in this bar alone! You know I'll get drunk and end up going home with one o' them taterhogs that's been hitting on me all night! Spoken by my friend Donna in high school algebra class, while discussing possible senior class trip destinations with our teacher: KANSAS!? No! If we wanted flat, we'd stay here with Karla! (And might I just say in my own defense that my very average C cups probably only looked flat next to Donna's very impressive D cups. I would have pointed that out at the time if I could have been heard over the shrieking laughter of my entire class and my teacher.) Spoken by comedian Artie Lange: Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like f*!#ing a mannequin. Spoken by me while 3 months pregnant, upon being asked if I planned to find out the sex of the baby from my upcoming sonogram: Hell, yes! I don't understand people who say they don't want to find out the sex of the baby until it's born. I want to know everything; I don't want any surprises coming out of my hoo-ha. Spoken by the plumber who came to a rental house we had just moved into a few years ago, when we called him to fix the backed-up plumbing: It's probably nothing major. Most times I get called out to a house where the sewage is backing up into the bathtub, and people are afraid it's going to require a major overhaul to fix it. But lots of times it's just sewer rats. My husband (horrified): Sewer rats?! We have sewer rats?! Plumber: Well, some people call them tampons. I call them sewer rats. Labels: The internet: A complex maze of literary sewage pipes Posted by karla @ 11:25 AM
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Wow your friends are really funny. Taterhogs! Nice.
RE: last one- I had a friend who called them jelly donuts. Icky, but a bit funny in a gross sort of way.
RE: last one- I had a friend who called them jelly donuts. Icky, but a bit funny in a gross sort of way.
Isn't this some sort of one-year-anniversary post?
If so: Bappy Hirthday Barlakabble.
If not: Shut ME up.
If so: Bappy Hirthday Barlakabble.
If not: Shut ME up.
Those are absolutely hilarious quotes. I wish I could remember half the things that come up in random conversations throughout my life.
No way; I love her to death. And since I passed on the opportunity to bitch-slap her for the many infractions before that, it just made sense to pass on that one as well.
LOL re:sewer rats. The sense of humour that kid of yours is going to have should be something else.
Cheers
Cheers
I know you love me...if not, I would have been smacked WAY before that remark.
# posted by 
: Tue Jun 06, 10:35:00 PM
: Tue Jun 06, 10:35:00 PM
I once had a plumber convince me that what he pulled out was a sewer rat. Both the plumber and my boyfriend had a good laugh over that one.
Listen, here is what men want to know about women; that you smell nice and are cleanly shaven in the right places. We don't want to know how you got that way and we certainly don't want to know what goes in or out of your hoo-ha's that doesn't involve our orgasms.
Damn. So that's why my parents used to laugh so hard whenever they made me play "Bobbing for Sewer Rats." Another childhood memory shot to hell.