The break room of the local Jiffy Lube?
The Greyhound Bus terminal in downtown Detroit?
A hog farm in Kansas?
The slums of El Salvador?
Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, and also wrong. The telephone in that photo is in my workplace. Which is not (because you were about to ask, weren't you?) the Greyhound Bus terminal in downtown Detroit, but an otherwise clean and normal-looking office building in the reasonably shiny and attractive Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex.
Go ahead, have another look:
Shocking, isn't it? More shocking is the fact that I'm the only one who seems horrified or even cognizant of this grime. My coworkers don't even notice the ample filth on this and every telephone in the building, nor do they notice that the receiver often actually emits a stench when you hold it near your face. But then, it would smell bad, wouldn't it? Considering it's coated in more microbes than a coke bottle floating in the sewer, and can safely be assumed to be a breeding ground for at least 14 new viruses as well as 27 established ones.
Bizarre side note: I just looked on Thesaurus.com for a synonym for dust, and it came up with "Mormon rain." Um...may I just take a moment to inquire: What the fuck?
The odd thing is I personally clean this phone on a regular basis, driven to do so by my survival instinct. How can this much muck accumulate again so quickly? It seems to defy the laws of nature, and yet there must be an explanation I'm missing.
Could one of my coworkers be a scarecrow, accidentally scattering dust on the phone every time he answers a call, and I've just been too self-absorbed to notice?
Is the building I work in eroding at an accelerated speed, scattering a mist of sediment from the ceiling so fine that I don't even see it?
Do homeless people parade in here in groups of 40 and 50 at a time just before my shift starts, each taking turns using the phone?
Or is someone screwing with me?
You tell me. I demand answers.
Bizarre side note #2: When I did the Blogger spell check of this post, it advised me to change the word "sanitizer" to snatcher. May I just take a moment to inquire: Where can I get a 55-gallon drum of hand snatcher?