However! Recently Jake has begun a Mother's Day Out program two days a week. If you're unfamiliar with the concept, it's like a little preschool class where Jake can go to play, learn new things, and interact with other kids--and more importantly, his mommy gets to stop playing, teaching new things, and interacting with kids. They really should call it "Mother's Day Away from Baby," or "Mother Can Pee in Private For A Change."
I am relieved to discover Jake loves it. And why wouldn't he? They serve Tang there! Tang contains a proportion of sugar Jake never dreamed could exist in such a small amount of liquid. At home, he drinks what I deceitfully refer to as "juice," but which is really a sippy cup filled with about 95% water and about 5% juice. As he dances eagerly around the kitchen crowing, "Jis! Jis!!!" as I prepare it for him, I do feel a slight twinge of guilt at the fraud I'm perpetrating. But lying to children is approximately 75% of what parenting is about, so when that pang of guilt tries to creep in, I just shake my head like I'm erasing an Etch-A-Sketch, and agree, "Yes! Juice! You lucky boy!" I thought when he discovered Tang at school, he would glare accusingly at me the next time I tried to unload this crappy watered-down juice cocktail on him, but so far he hasn't put two and two together yet. He must think they have a strict monopoly on Tang at his school, and that his loving mother has been begging all along for them to lift their restrictions and allow us to take some home, to no avail.
At any rate, suddenly I find myself with some extra time. A few hours a day twice a week! To the mother of a toddler, this is an eternity of time. What does this mean to you? Well, it means I can post more often. When I started this blog, I was posting every 2-3 days, and now it's more like once a week. Instead of the Tang you deserve, I've been serving you the blog equivalent of a crappy watered-down juice cocktail.
But there'll still be time left over! Now there's the question of what I will do with this vast expanse of time that I formerly spent reading, on demand, the same "Grover Learns To Read" book 7,000 times in a row, or agreeing enthusiastically, "Yeah, doggie!" 25,000 times in a row as Jake pointed to our dog and cried out, "Daaa!"
A short list of my ideas so far:
1) I could read some self-help books, with an eye toward becoming a better person.
2) I could learn to cook, with an eye toward becoming a better wife.
3) I could get involved with the community, with an eye toward making my town a better place.
4) I could watch more TV, read more blogs, sharpen my napping skills, and make the occasional phone call without having to shout over the tinny sound of "Old MacDonald Had A Farm" that emits from no less than 30 toys scattered throughout my house.
But I'm willing to take suggestions from you, if you have a better idea of how I should spend my new free time. In the meantime, I'll be running through the house in my undies shouting, "I'M FREE!"