This is the kind of touching photo series that makes young girls want to be mothers. I look at this and I wonder why we aren't models for a Downy commercial or a Gerber baby product. It brings a tear to the eye to see the two of us bonding, so connected, the very picture of mother-son love.
I look at these pictures and think, "The nerve of this kid! Why is HE crying? I'm the one who should cry. Which one of us can be seen carting around a fist full of someone else's dirty diaper several times a day? Which one of us blew up like a prize pumpkin at the state fair because the other was blithely incubating inside us? Which one of us rudely tore our way out of the other's body through a tiny doorway filled with nerve endings, our great big fat head leading the way? Which one of us spends a big chunk of our day napping and eating while the other spends a big chunk of our day working out and starving ourselves because the other turned our body into a science experiment?"
When I bring these points up to Jake, it cheers him right up. He begins to laugh like a hyena, point at me and call me a sucker. So maybe he's won this round, but I'm still plotting his payback. I'm going to send him off to his first day of school every year of grade school with a mullet, powder blue bell bottoms, and a My Little Pony lunch box. Then we'll see who's laughing.