Friday, July 01, 2005

Shhh...read this very quietly.

I am tiptoeing around my house like a common thief. Jake has been uncharacteristically grouchy today, and although he wasn't due for a nap, somehow I've gotten lucky and he's fallen asleep. I think perhaps God intervened on Jake's behalf, seeing that I was very close to killing him, and put him to sleep for a bit so I could have some time to rethink that idea, and mull over the possibility of a lengthy jail term and lifelong regret. I usually use Jake's naptimes to catch up on housework, etc., but I'm afraid to make one single sound and ruin this unexpected peace. I've turned off my phone, put my dog in a far-off room of the house, shut off the TV, and am wearing my .mp3 player so I can listen to something without risking Jake hearing it. Normally I leave the TV on and try to keep up a certain amount of house noise while Jake naps, so that he grows up to be one of those fortunate people who can sleep amidst noise (like his father) rather than laying wide awake if things aren't dead quiet (like his mother). But today you should see me, it's actually pretty comical. I'm literally tiptoeing in bare feet across the carpet of my house. Even typing this feels very risky to me--I'm very softly touching the keys and typing very slowly. You would think I was in the middle of a jewel heist. All I've got to do is make it til 7 PM (a couple more hours) til Brian comes home, and then I will toss the baby at him, laughing maniacally, as I flee the scene like a escaping prison inmate, tires screeching. I go to the gym every night when Brian gets home, and while yes, ostensibly the purpose is to lose the remaining 13 lbs. of pregnancy weight that keeps me from fitting into even one single cute thing in my closet, an added bonus is that it's a chance to get out of the house and get a break from mommyhood. As I've mentioned in the past, Jake tends to get grouchy at night, and my favorite sound in the world is often the sound of the garage door opening as Daddy arrives.

But today is unusual--Jake is usually all happiness and sunshine until right about 7 PM when the tide starts to get turn, so I usually have all day to enjoy him at his most cheerful; for some reason today he's been pissy since about 1 PM. I managed to calm him down earlier by strapping him into his carrier (one of those backpack looking things that has you "wearing" the baby on your chest as you walk around hands-free) and vacuuming the house. (By the way, wearing an extra 16 lbs on your chest is very awkward when you're stooping to move furniture around as you vacuum. I think now I can say for certain that Dolly Parton doesn't do her own vacuuming.) Then he went down for a nap (yay me!) and I did some more cleaning. Later he woke up still grouchy, and I did that desperate dance where I first put him in his bouncy (good for about 8 minutes), then his other bouncy (good for 4 minutes), then his playmat (good for about 7 minutes, then his swing (mild protests for a few minutes, and then another nap--yay me!). I think the problem with Sir Grouchy is that he's starting to teethe. He's drooling more than usual, and trying, with a look of desperation, to stuff anything and everything into his mouth. I feel bad for him, especially since I assume it will get worse before it gets better, since he's only 4 months old and has barely begun to teethe, if that is what he's doing. It's hard to see him him looking fidgety and unhappy and know there's not much I can do for him except try to distract him from his discomfort.

I am loving this nap thing, though. I've got to come up with a way to keep him napping for 4 and 5 hour stretches, only waking up long enough for a quick hug before passing out like a frat boy again. I think I'll start putting Jack Daniels into his bottles.

1 comment:

The awkwarD said...

haha. You might as well start him out young on the alcohol, so that he doesn't become an out of control lush such as myself, when he reaches his teens.