Friday, March 17, 2006

There's a Perfectly Reasonable Explanation For This, Part 1


When you see a child so determined to get in the dryer, it makes you wonder. What could be going on here? I can guess some of your catty little answers now:

1) That photo I took when he was 4 months old wasn't a depiction of a one-time event. I put him in there on a regular basis, often to muffle the sound of his crying, or to suppress the smell of his dirty diaper.

2) He's trying to escape his mommy, who may or may not dangerously unstable. The dryer doesn't seem like an ideal place to hang out, but it does seem safer than being with Mommy Dearest.

3) He's looking for more (or perhaps cleaner?) panties.

4) Just to amuse myself, I wait til he's good and hungry, then put his food in the dryer, just to watch him struggle to retrieve it.

5) He's forced to do his own laundry, since his mother is passed out on the front lawn with an empty bottle of Jaegermeister in her hand.

Got any ideas, smartypants? Can you think of a better explanation for why my 1-year old was caught trying to launch himself into my clothes dryer? Go ahead, let's hear it. I'll submit your answers to Jake and ask him which one was the correct one. The winner gets a sneaky 1-year old child with a dryer fetish.

Here's Jake, wishing you good luck.

(Extra points to those of you who have noticed the recurring theme in which I invent "contests" which are really just thinly-veiled attempts to pawn my child off on someone.)

31 comments:

MetroDad said...

Well, if this were happening at our place, I'd say he was probably looking for the weed. Because the dryer and the dishwasher are the two places that I KNOW my wife never goes near.

doggerelblogger said...

I think he's looking for pieces of the cat he slipped in there when you were loading it.

H.Wood said...

Carole Anne’s “TV People” changed their preference.

Magnetic Mary said...

I got it, I got it! Your bathtub drain is connected to the dryer and he finally found out!

Ivy the Goober said...

I think you made him climb in there to change the light bulb. But he looks pleased to be your little child slave.

Mel said...

he saw "the lion, the witch and the wardrobe" and, not having a 'wardrobe' to climb into, he thought that this was a logical 2nd portal to the land of menataurs and ice queens.

Michele in Michigan said...

He wants to satisfy his scientific curiosity by answering the age-old question: Does the light stay on when you close the dryer door?

Hey! My word verification resembles "Nerd Quiz"--nrdqqz

The Jamoker said...

He was hiding your jewelry from the ever present horde of heroin and smack cocaine users you have living in your living room...smart boy...he knows you'll need to pawn that jewelry when you can't turn tricks anymore...

Lee said...

I think you're trying to throw us off... he's actually trying to get out!

As to why he was in there in the first place I can only assume you were too lazy to take his dirty clothes off him first before washing and drying them!

Arctic Skipper said...

I'm thinkin' it's because the poor little guy is going through that drool phase and his mommy is too busy trying to see how many jello shots she can suck down in a hour to wipe off his mouth and put him in clean, dry clothes. Poor Jake was attempting to crawl into the clothes dryer and dry his drool-soaked shirt.

Not that I've ever caused a child to resort to that kind of behavior . . . .

tinyhands said...

Maybe he just wants to play the game that daddy plays with mommy whenever SHE bends over the dryer?

The Bard of the Wood said...

You are a frigging genius, but you won't get me to submit any suggestions like you got the ten suckers before me.

Ben said...

I'd say he's looking for a thrill ride. Save up money for Six Flags little lady.

Cheers.

browser58 said...

He has aspirations to be an astronaut some day and spinning around in the dryer is good training for those G-Force tests.

CommonWombat said...

I'm pretty sure he's trying to figure out where you hid his REAL mommy.

Miss Noodle said...

Perhaps trying to find a comfy spot to sleep off a hangover? (Maybe he's the one whose hooked on the Jagermeister!)

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Nah, not for me. You got all the good ones...

Maja said...

It must be the warmest driest place in the house, and he's probably attracted to the light.

Maja said...

It must be the warmest driest place in the house, and he's probably attracted to the light.

Lena said...

He's hiding your laptop so he can get some damn attention. Good one Jake!

Kristen said...

Clearly in the first picture he's thinking, "god, she STILL hasn't folded this laundry?! I have to do EVERYTHING myself." and in the second picture he's thinking, "oh, no, don't bother. Really, mom. I've got it. I'm a one-year-old, but please, PLEASE let me do your job for you."

He's a sarcastic one-year-old, isn't he?

Jaefox said...

What the hell is he stepping on? Is that his DIAPER????

(Seriously, that is ONE darling boy. He has got the greatest smile ever. There;s never too many Jake pics in your blog.)

Paige said...

I believe it is the light in there. He loves them. That is also why he sometimes bangs the window. He wants the light. Perhaps you get Little Jake a "glow worm". You know a light of his own. One he talk to whenever he likes.

Badger said...

Clearly, he's huffing Downy dryer sheets. It's the second picture that gives him away.

nita said...

the only real explanation is you have exactly the child you deserve :)

he is getting more and more handsome, too!!!

Hale McKay said...

Does he watch sci-fi programs? Maybe he's using it as an escape pod.
...I read several of your posts and enjoyed them immensely. Not to sound MacArthurish, but I shall return.

melissa.in.london said...

So that's who keeps stealing the one damn sock! I always suspected it was Jake...

tfg said...

Let's see here. Jake is trying to get into dark cavity that has an eery glow emanating from it and a very large opening.

I'm no child psychiatrist, but I'm thinking that he's homesick for the womb.

Carbon said...

I'd say that you got the exhaust hose reverted back into the dryer instead of being vented outside. This way, your little Jake constantly runs to sniff and get high off the fumes. Smart boy, he's starting early in life ;-)

Caryn said...

Okay, this is annoying. I just discovered that many of the comments I've made on others' Blogger posts have disappeared! At any rate, I'm sure my original comment was very clever, but since I can't remember it word for word, I'll tell you that both you and your husband make your oatmeal wrong, as does my husband, who uses the stove and water to make his. Only I make mine right. I know that I am correct, because God told me so.

Jodipodi said...

I love your dryer. I want one. Preferably without a child in it though! I reckon I could fit both my toddlers in that! ;)