Okay, so my son's first birthday is coming up, and being the excellent mommy I am, I'm planning a party. True, he's too young to appreciate a party, and will have no idea why all these people are at his house. True, he will have little interest in presents beyond trying to eat the wrapping paper. True, he will probably need a nap before the end of the shindig, and will possibly even get a little crabby. And true, he doesn't actually have any friends of his own yet, so "his" party will be filled with my friends and some little kids I've recruited to act as his friends. But according to the laws of motherhood, I am required to have a party for him. That much I know--but there are a few details I am still unclear on. I know some of you have kids (many of them kidnapped or bought on the black market, but hey, they're yours now), or at least have siblings who have kids, so surely you can help me out with a bit of advice. Here are the points I'm unclear on:
1) How many kegs should we provide for a one-year old's party? I know when adults congregate, it's common to have a couple of kegs, maybe three to be on the safe side, but remember, most of our guests will be under 30 lbs. They can't go through more than one keg, can they? Maybe I could even get by with just a pony keg? Then again, it's bad form to run out of beer, and I don't want a house full of half-drunk toddlers nipping at my calves in anger over a depleted alcohol supply.
2) Do I hire strippers for this event? Or is that something that would be more appropriate for his 5th birthday?
3) Is this the kind of party where we all put our house keys in a big bowl and exchange them? (And yes, I'm talking about the grownups only, you perv. Jesus.)
4) Is it bad form to expect people to bring their own blow? Or do I have to provide it? I don't want to sound cheap, but the idea of cutting down on expenses by asking people to BYOD is sounding pretty appealing right now.
I think that's all the questions I have for now. I'll await your answers while I blow up some balloons and make some snickerdoodles.